DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS CHILD ABUSE

You can not believe the effects that your domestically violent relationship is having on your children…Do you realize that:  

·        Children who witness domestic violence are 6 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Children experience a great deal of fear and have multiple ways of expressing that fear.   Abuse on a child has a negative affect on them both emotionally & physically. 

Common behaviors in response to abuse may be:

·        Eating, sleeping disorders

·        Depression, emotional neediness

·        Children learn that violence is an acceptable

·        Solve problems by the age of 5 yr old

·        Over compliance, clinginess, withdrawal

·        Aggressive acting out / destructive rages

·        Detachment, avoidance, a fantasy or make

·        Believe family life

·        Difficult to diagnose physical illnesses

·        Finger biting, restlessness, shaking,

·        Head banging, stuttering

·        School problems

·        Thoughts of suicide                           

·        Harms animals

Did you know that 70 % of children in violent homes are abused!    

Sexual abuse commonly starts by the age of 3 years old.                                      

Children keep the abuse a secret from their brothers, sisters, and non-abusive parent. They keep the secret deep down inside because of fear and to protect the family.  What they don't realize, is that it keeps

The family from getting helps.  Most of the time, other brothers and sisters are being abused anyway and are keeping the same secret.

Mothers frequently say...if I only knew!  If you are a Victim of or Survivor of Domestic Violence please realize that you are not and were probably not the only person in the family being abused by your abuser…Abusers like to control everyone.

Children who witness domestic violence are 50% more likely to abuse drugs, alcohol, and are more likely to engage in criminal acts.

Children that are abused frequently display one or more of these behaviors.

Symptoms of Abuse

It is normal for a child of domestic violence to show symptoms of that abuse.  Below are some common feelings and behaviors of children that are either abused or witness abuse.

• Feel guilty for the abuse and for not stopping it 
• Grieve for family and losses in their life       
• Confused about their feelings toward their parents
• Fear of: being abandoned, expressing emotions, the unknown
• Angry about the violence and chaos in their lives
• Depressed, feelings of helplessness, powerlessness
• Embarrassed by the behavior of abuse and its effects at home
• Blames others for their own behavior
• Believes it is acceptable to hit, express anger and control through power people they care for in order to meet their own needs 
• Difficulty trusting others
• Has low self-esteem, thinks poorly of themselves
• Acts out or withdraws
• Overachieves or underachieves
• Refuses to go to school
• More concerned for others than themselves; takes on a parent roll in the home
• Aggressive or passive
• Excessive attention seeking
• Bedwetting; nightmares
• Out of control behavior
• Isolates themselves from friends and relatives
• Relationships are frequently stormy...starts intense and end abruptly
• Difficulty in trusting adults
• Handles their anger poorly and has difficulty solving problems
• Plays rough with peers
• Frequent headaches, stomach aches
• Nervous, anxious, short attention span
• Tired, lack of energy
• Desensitized to pain

Children do not have to be physically abused to be affected by abuse in the home.  Witnessing abuse on others or hearing it from another room in the house leaves a lasting impression on the child.

In general, 70% of men who abuse their female partners also abuse their children. In 100% of these relationships the Children are being emotionally abused.
 
Nearly 70% of the children who go to shelters for battered women are victims of abuse or neglect.
 
3.3 million children in the United States, between ages 3 and 17 years, are yearly at risk of exposure to marital violence.
 
Studies of abused children in the general population reveal that nearly half of them have mothers who are also abused, making wife abuse the single strongest identifiable risk for child abuse.

 In 1999, an estimated 2,261 children died from abuse or neglect. This means that more than 3 children died each day in the United States as a result of maltreatment.

The ultimate pain, hurt that an abuser can place on their adult victim is to kidnap, take away or murder their own children.

In a study of juvenile offenders, 63% of those incarcerated for murder had killed the men who had beaten their mothers.

Boys who witness family violence are more likely to batter their female partners as adults than are boys raised in non-violent homes.

Girls who witness their mother's abuse have a higher rate of being battered as adults.

 As violence against women becomes more severe and more frequent in the home, children experience a 300% increase in physical violence by the male batterer.

 Children from violent families can provide clinicians with detailed accounts of abusive incidents their parents never realized they had witnessed.