This may not sit well with many of you, but these are issues that need to
This is for those Women who have been abused by Men in their
lives. You must realize that the Woman will continue to be a victim if she is living in fear.
Whether you be an advocate for a victim, a lawyer, a judge, the police officer,
or family member, this is a reality check.
JUST BECAUSE THE VICTIM HAS SURVIVED THE CRIME, LEFT THE RELATIONSHIP
AND THE ABUSER, DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE ABUSE HAS STOPPED.
- It Does mean that the victim is still in danger.
- It Does mean that the abuser is even angrier than before.
- It Does mean that the victim has a bigger chance to die at the hands of the
- It Does mean that the abuser should never be alone with the children.
- It Does mean that the abuser should have only supervised visitation.
- It has been proven over and over again the abuser will use the children to
still be in control of the victim.
- It does mean that for the next 2 years or more, the victim will still be
hiding, dealing with the harrassment, and being under the control of abuser.
Whether you want to admit it or not, or maybe because many advocates, lawyers,
judges, officers and family member have never experienced violence and abuse, the reality is the violence and abuse does not
end immediately. It can continue for years.
You are not helping end domestic violence by allowing the Abuser, to know
THEY ARE ABOVE THE LAW.
By giving the abuser, unsupervised visitation, and allowing the abuser to
continue to haunt the victim whether it be through the child visitations, the courts, by phone, in person, through lawyers,
friends, family member etc. you are sending the message that the domestic violence was not that bad, that the victim
is not really a victim but a participant, and the the abuser can continue to abuse this victim and any other future victim
that they want, because those advocates, judges, lawyers, etc. has given them permission to do so.
Please before giving unsupervised visitation to an abuser, think about all
those children and parents who have died as the altimate hurt from an abuser who was able to continue to be in control.
(For your information because of the way the courts, police, lawyers,
and other advocates have dealt with abusers...it is a reality that the abuser laughs at their victim when threaten with the
law...Because in the abuser own words to a victim, "so what are they going to do to me...ha ha ha")